Arguments, Fights, and Most Types of Conflict Start Because...
We are blind.
I'm not talking about being physically blind but something called "perceptually blind".
We all have perceptions. Your perception is your understanding of what you see and hear. This means your perceptions are different to others as your understanding differs from theirs.
Perceptions can be nasty little things. What they do is filter out things in what we see and hear. Something may occur, but it does not reach our minds because it was "filtered" out.
One characteristic that is known to do this is your beliefs. If you believe that all females are shopping, money-spending, resource consuming monsters (hehe sorry girls!), then everytime you see a female shopping you'll think "Bah! Typical money-wasting girls!" Your belief that females will spend as much money as they can blinds you from other possiblities that they maybe shopping for their first time all month [yeah right :-)], they maybe buying for someone else, or they are just window-shopping.
Its very similar to panning for gold except you're not looking for the gold.
You filter out the good (the gold) and let in the dirt with what we see in situations and others. We love to judge, analyze, and criticize others so we perceive the dirt in others.
It doesn't have to be like this. You need to apply another "filter" so you see the "gold".
When we argue, we try to prove to the other person that we're right by pulling out facts and opinions. We block out all other options and stick with our thoughts as our perceptions possibly mislead us.
You need to change your perceptions so you can see what others are feeling and seeing.
This helps in greatly understanding others and will greatly reduce the number of arguments and other forms of conflict. Yes, changing your perceptions so you can see what others see is a great repellent to keep conflict away.
If you enjoyed this, you can get much more information regarding conflict and a tonne of other communication skills information by signing-up to my newsletter here.
I'm not talking about being physically blind but something called "perceptually blind".
We all have perceptions. Your perception is your understanding of what you see and hear. This means your perceptions are different to others as your understanding differs from theirs.
Perceptions can be nasty little things. What they do is filter out things in what we see and hear. Something may occur, but it does not reach our minds because it was "filtered" out.
One characteristic that is known to do this is your beliefs. If you believe that all females are shopping, money-spending, resource consuming monsters (hehe sorry girls!), then everytime you see a female shopping you'll think "Bah! Typical money-wasting girls!" Your belief that females will spend as much money as they can blinds you from other possiblities that they maybe shopping for their first time all month [yeah right :-)], they maybe buying for someone else, or they are just window-shopping.
Its very similar to panning for gold except you're not looking for the gold.
You filter out the good (the gold) and let in the dirt with what we see in situations and others. We love to judge, analyze, and criticize others so we perceive the dirt in others.
It doesn't have to be like this. You need to apply another "filter" so you see the "gold".
When we argue, we try to prove to the other person that we're right by pulling out facts and opinions. We block out all other options and stick with our thoughts as our perceptions possibly mislead us.
You need to change your perceptions so you can see what others are feeling and seeing.
This helps in greatly understanding others and will greatly reduce the number of arguments and other forms of conflict. Yes, changing your perceptions so you can see what others see is a great repellent to keep conflict away.
If you enjoyed this, you can get much more information regarding conflict and a tonne of other communication skills information by signing-up to my newsletter here.
posted by Joshua Uebergang at 11:33 PM
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1 Comments:
Good article and very TRUE. Whether most people admit it or not, they allow their "filters" to get in the way of perceiving a situation. The thing is that they are so used to perceiving things with their "filters" that unless it is pointed out to them and they are very conscious of it, their "filters" will continue to "blind" them.
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